- The amount of time Ice Ice Baby remained on the charts.
- Every one of Elizabeth Taylor's 8 marriages.
- William Hung's music career.
- The amount of time Joanie Loves Chachi remained on the air.
- The amount of time Home Alone remained #1 at the box office.
- Theatrical run of Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark.
- Lifespan of Mike the Headless Chicken - after his head was removed.
What are some things that go on longer than Brock Turner's jail stay?
What crimes are worse, in the eyes of the justice system, than dragging an unconscious woman behind a dumpster and digitally raping her?
- Dropping acid - possession of a gram (that's half the weight of a dime) comes with a mandatory minimum of 5 years on the first offense.
- Conspiracy to deal coke - Sharanda Purlette Jones is currently serving life without parole for conspiracy - her first offense - despite a lack of any physical evidence.
- Stealing $100 - Roy Brown, a homeless man, felt so guilty for stealing a single $100 bill from the bank that he turned himself in the next day. He got 15 years.
- Having a crack pipe, acting as the go between in the sale of a dime bag, attempting to cash a stolen check, shoplifting three belts - there are folks serving life in prison for each of those offenses.
What's the difference between the following three folks and Brock Turner?
- On the other hand, there's Frank Lee Smith. One woman's eye-witness testimony put him in jail for a rape he didn't commit. DNA evidence exonerated him 15 years later, but it was too late; he was dead. The eyewitness later stated that she'd told police she wasn't sure he was the right guy, but she'd been pressured not to mention that at trial.
- There's also Habib Wahir Abdal. In the 1980s, a woman was raped by a black man about 5'9" with a gap between his teeth. Habib Wahir Abdal was 6'2" with no gap, but he was convicted of the crime after a forensic analyst gave inaccurate testimony on the stand. Abdal served 16 years before being exonerated.
- Paula Gray made a false confession under duress when she was accused of being involved in the kidnapping, rape, and murder of a young couple in 1978. She recanted her confession, but still spent 24 years in prison for the crime before DNA exonerated her.
They were probably lousy swimmers.
Just kidding. Race. It's race.