Rantastic

Here are some expressions that drive me bananas. If you've been around me much you may have heard some of this before.

• Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll end up among the stars.: Lies. The moon and the stars are really, really, really far apart.  If you shoot for the moon and miss, you end up in the sucking void of space. Plus stars, are you know, giant balls of flaming plasma. Ouch.
• The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over each time expecting a different result.: Isn't that the definition of hope? I'm also concerned with how often I've heard people in the 12-step community say it; yet they also say keep coming back. Wouldn't that negate the...
• Chocoholic: Speaking of AA. And holy crap, spell-check is okay with chocoholic. I never noticed until Homer Simpson said "I can't live without rageahol" (or something similar, I can't find the video clip), but the ahol part of words like that doesn't belong. Because ahol is part of alcohol. Now it drives me bananas. Also it's a little trivializing to people with alcoholism. 
• Don't you mean you feel well?: Lots of people think that it's grammatically incorrect to say "I don't feel good," because it's an adjective and the situation calls for an adverb. Except that it doesn't call for an adverb, for the same reason that "I feel happy" shouldn't be "I feel happily." Good here describes the thing that I feel; an adverb would be needed if I were describing how my sense of feeling was working.
  Mind you, I feel well isn't wrong, but only because well in this context is being used not as an adverb, but as an adjective... well can be a synonym for healthy.
  Also, I'm not a fan of people prancing about correcting grown adults' grammar with the express purpose of tearing them down. It's fair, I'd say, to correct an adult's grammar if you think it'll save them further embarrassment.
• X is not a word.: Words become words when people say and assign meaning to them. If people didn't make up words and assign meaning to them, language wouldn't exist. You could say that x is not a word that can be found in a dictionary (although with things like Urbandictionary.com, any word can be in some dictionary). You could also say "I don't think that is a good word to use," or "I hate that word," or make a logical argument about whether or not a word should be used or defined the way it is, but, the fact is that nobody, not even the dictionary himself, is an arbiter of what's a word and what's not. That's just how we roll.
• It's always in the last place you look.: Some stand-up comedian pointed out the inanity of this sentiment, considering that, if you found something it wasn't in the last place you looked, you'd be pretty dumb for continuing to look. Although I think this expression is shortened from "It's always in the last place you'd think to look," and that's actually kind of fair. Sometimes, if I've looked everywhere for my cell phone, I'll stop and think "where's the last place I'd think to look?" And then there's my cell phone in the freezer, where it's been all along. Also, I plugged the ice cube tray into my phone charger. That explains the sparks.